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Those who wait upon the Lord, they will renew their strength, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.


Isaiah 40:31

This is the scripture tattooed on Nathanael's right bicep.  Was it the Lord who kept him safe all those years he lived on the streets drunk and deluded by his own image as he walked around Kings Cross in his bathrobe looking at himself in the windows of the shops and the hubcaps of the parked Rolls Royce's admiring himself and how much he looked like Sting. 

He hadn't eaten for three years.  Jail saved him.  The Buddhists saved him many times.  The Hindus saved him many times.  The Aboriginals saved him many times.   Animals save him always as does nature.   But in the end it was always Jesus he returned to.

This is his story of salvation.  His light is so bright but dimmed by the darkest of darknesses.  

He has just finished another stint in Natmatjira Haven in the Northern Rivers of NSW drying out from another seven years 'self-medicating'.    Building a garden is the most productive thing he could do right now.  That is my prescription.  He loves dogs too.  They heal him.  God and Dogs.

Presently Nathanael is under the pastoral care of Samisoni Motufaga in Fiji who ministers with the Assemblies of God. 

Their conversations are around the concept of legalism in religion and how to avoid it.

The lessons he has learned have been earned through the toughest of battles with addiction.   Everyday people will find many parallels in their own stories.  His story has the ability to help many people who struggle with the demonic compulsions of this world.

A prophet?   An apostle?   A disciple of Jesus?  Or just plain old abuser? 

Nathanael's Daily Diary
'My Derelict Adventures'

Wed 9 August 2023

I am aware now that the enemy had me blinded to the whole truth concerning the Gospel..because of the toxic shame and guilt and perfectionism and control I suffered was a beautiful thing to understand deeply that we are not saved by Ephesians 2:8.9 says...however I wasn't seeing the scriptures that speak of, that Faith without works is dead...and so many verses that call for our surrender and sanctification and dying to self that is a struggle ...but is possible with the help of the Holy Spirit...I was blinded by the enemy concerning this ..and in so doing it was nursing and keeping in place my willful sin and the lie that I could never be freed from that I understand the deep unconditional love and grace of God and also that we fight from a place of victory because of Christ ..that I can start the process of sanctification through surrender and dying to self ..and being freed from the constructs of the old carnal man and the strongholds therein..both of these truths are important ...but the most important one to get deeply into our hearts and minds is that we are not saved through our works ...but by faith in the completed work of Christ. However to be truly free in this life from the dictates of the flesh and this world we must be surrendered to God's will for our lives in the here and now. This is also important as being a vessel of honour that the Holy Spirit can use in this life for his purposes for His kingdom here on earth in the here and now. Thank you Lord for showing me the balance of scripture through the truth of your Word. May I be a vessel of honour to bring glory to your name through service to you here on earth for the short time we have left here, in Jesus beautiful name.  Amen.

Tues 26 September 2023

Faith of a Child

Always stay in this frame of mind when considering the Faith, and coming to God. Or else the ego or natural man will take you down too many rabbit holes and you will abandon the faith for all sorts of different techniques and philosophies only to end up at Jesus feet again.....Just have the innocent pure faith of a child without too much contemplation. Just contemplate on the Goodness of God and avoid the devil constantly making you look at his kingdom and inadvertently giving him precedence and power over your lives. Your guide should be Philippians 4:8. Jesus won the victory at Calvary. Full Stop. Nothing you think you bring to Him can qualify or justify you before the Father. Focus now on His nature and teachings on how to live and treat yourself and others with the revelation of His great love and humility and sacrifice in calling us to love one another in truth and in spirit. Let God and the Angels deal with the devil and the rabbit holes and endless information and deceptions. Turn your face to the light of Christ's Spirit and every demon in hell will be vanquished without saying a word. All this clanging and screaming and dramatics on the stages and platforms of churches will not deceive God's elect..because He has given them eyes to see and ears to hear ...and the Lord teaches the Chosen how to discern the truth from the lie as we walk the perilous path of the time of the apocalypse. "Minions are blind and deceived thinking they are in a great relationship with Me says the Lord.."but they are far from Me...they are deceived and deceiving, conceited by their own pride and ignorance. They mouth great words with great passion ...but they are solely lacking in true Knowledge,  Wisdom and Grace....Let them continue as they are and do not try to correct them..for they will not hear you it was from the beginning so it is, now at the end...they would not hear the Prophets or Me..they will not hear you...let them be ...walk your path with Me even though the minions go another way ...Trust me and look to My goodness and grace ...My ways are not your ways...that's why you must have faith where you are now...for much you cannot understand in this world about Me and My Kingdom...until you pass through the veil of life and death and bask in the glory of My Kingdom. You will then understand everything as I do. You will know all things and not have to strive and struggle to perceive anything anymore...for all will be revealed to you My beloved.... 🕊️

The devil is obviously using what is familiar to the carnal man to keep him cemented his belief system . What is familiar is the old covenant with its rules, ordinances and holiness....!! That's not what Jesus came here for...!! He came here to heal the brokenhearted and lost...not the righteous bigots of discerning..he comes an an angel of light to deceive even the elect...✝️

October 7, 2023

“Dear Bridget, I need to apologise for swearing and cursing you when triggered by my pride and jealousy.  I wish you and David a happy life. I think we are better as friends. I wish you all the joy and peace and blessings in Jesus name upon your relationship and life with David. I am thinking on writing a treatise on my beliefs about Christianity concerning the truth and untruths therein...there is no hard and fast truth that I hang my hat on concerning the story...but the hard truths that I can be totally certain of are some of teachings of Christ and the Humility and the virtues of God. I will send you a little paragraph of what I believe Jesus whole purpose was in coming...I don't believe it was for a blood sacrifice for an evil imposter God..but to teach us the greatest virtue on this planet...Humility. Have a great day. Bless you and David in Jesus name 🙏✝️”

“I feel and believe ATM that there are truths and untruths in and through the Scriptures of the Bible. The blood sacrifice attributed to Jesus' life may be untrue because of its connection to the blood Lust of that evil imposter God of much of the old testament. I believe in the pride of Satan and being cast down for it and infiltrating this pride into the human species,  and this same pride being in us ..I believe this is the main reason why Jesus had to come teach us to be free from that pride and reverberations of this in our reptilian brains. Not to be a blood sacrifice to a Holy God. How can a Holy God be evil..?? To me the greatest teaching and example that Jesus stands for is Humility...without the humility that he taught us we will always be imprisoned to the ego or the Pride in our human natures reptilian brain. There has been so much of a mixture of truth and untruth in the bible that it has taken me a very long time to finally come to these conclusions. ”

Do not love the world or the things of this world.  If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

1 John 2:15

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